34. Brian Cashman

Derek Sanderson Jeter's contract ended this season, as most of you are fully aware of. Talks have been circulating between the GM, Mr. Brian Cashman and Jeetsinmysheets. I know Jeter is not in his prime and he definitely just came off probably one of his worst seasons in a yankee uniform, but Jeter is the heart and soul of this ball club and has been for the past 15 yrs. Cashdouche, in an email said, " if Yankees' Captain Derek Jeter could find a better offer than 3 years $45 million, he should Fucking Take It Somewhere Else." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! Look the Yankees have pretty deep ass pockets and they are already paying a shit ton of money for stupid AJ burninafire and A-roidy[granted he did play well] BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT YOU CANNOT DISH OUT MORE MONEY THAN THAT? This is not just ANY yankee. THIS IS JETER.

CASHMAN YOU'RE A FUCKING SNAKE AND YOU DESERVE TO BE IN SLYTHERIN ALONG WITH MALFOY ... ACTUALLY YOU KINDA LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A RAT AND A SNAKE... CANT YOU GO GET A NOSE JOB WITH ALL THAT MONEY ANYWAY?

GO DIAF ASSSSHOLEEEEEE.

- Jpsycho

33. JIAM

In honor of everyone who dressed up as a chilean miner, here is Jpsycho's post Halloween special edition of: 
JIAM [jump in a mine]

A- @L33n@  [represents that idiot coworker who cries about her bf and tells the whole office at what age she lost her virginity. She's also that person who calls in sick to work but is dumb enough to write a status on FB that says she's on a beach, while she has coworkers on her FB...]
B- Bristol Palin, because bitch shouldve left DWTS before Audrina did.
C- Cliff Lee [how the fuck you get slammed with 6 runs in like 4 innings, by the stoner team giants while u were almost perfect during the ALCS. Smh]
D- dirty people [especially a few who think its cool to not cleanse themselves on certain days. Do you eat daily? Yes. Do you go outside everyday? Yes. So, lets be honest. EVERYONE SHOULD SHOWER DAILY TOO.]
E- Entitled bitches who can't wash their own hair.
F- Foolish girlfriends
G- Gucci Mane 
H- Hillbillies in middle America 
I- Incompetent customer service reps
J- too many winners start with the name J [jeter. jayz. me. bmomz]....hmm...so lets make this for Jason Bay.
K- kanye. lets toast to this douche bag by making him #jiam
L- Lazy boyfriends... because you sit on your asses and don't fucking take initiative. use ur head.. or #JIAM!
M- MC Hammer... because he thinks Jay-Z "stole" his swagger... fuck outta herreee <> HOVA<3 
N- NOLAN RYAN [because I love watching Texan's squirrrrm]
O- october [because of post-season... lets. not. talk. about. it.]
P- policemen [fuck the po-po]
Q- QueenZ.. but only sometimes, like when buses stop running at certain times...
R- The Rangers [because they're from Texas]
S- the South, especially after these elections.... JUST FUCKING SECEDE!!!!!
T- The Town [and by "the town" i mean Bawwwwston]
U- Ugly short Tapirs
V- Voldemort, because the antagonist/villain alwayZ dies.
W-weeping tapirs//wall st men
X- xtraterrestrials... get off ma planet.
Y- yellow jackets [fucking hate them with a passion]
Z- ZzZZzzZ [TSG]


this concludes the special JIAM entry. 


love. J