38. DKR Killer + Homewrecker

Hello, all.

I decided to emerge from my longest hiatus, because let's face it, there has been news of two prime candidates for my blog. One is definitely more news worthy than the other, but they both equally deserve to die in a fire.

One week ago, all I could think about was watching the midnight showing of the Dark Knight Rises. Now, a week later, I can't believe I'm writing about a nobody named James Holmes, instead of someone like Mitt Romney (who should've died in a fire in the 80's when he drove with that poor dog on top of his car for 12 hours). I, personally, think that when a serious crime is committed, time in jail is a much better sentence than the death penalty, but for James Holmes... I WISH HE COULD DIAF. I think that someone like that should not be able to walk on this earth and breathe my precious (carbon monoxide-filled) air. I know that he studied neuroscience, so of course he has to be crazy in some way, but someone who is capable of shooting innocent people in a movie theater and putting all the tenants of an entire building in danger by bobby trapping his apartment deserves to burn in hell. I think this picture says it all.

Now, I guess its time to address this weeks scandal. I have received texts saying "Sooooo I'm not familiar with Twilight, but this scandal is giving me SO MUCH life!!!", "OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE HER!" and "I used to tolerate her because of Rob, now she can suck a dick" Now, for the Twilight fans, such as myself, this is much more than a break up. Ok, fine it's really not, I'm not crying over this shit like this girl ----> http://www.youtube.com/user/nuttymadam3575 , but honestly if the movie was coming out this month, i would totally boycott. KRISTEN STEWART IS A FUCKING HOMEWRECKING WEIRDO SLUT WHO NEEDS TO DIAF. She was so lucky to land the character of Bella. Ok, fine, the cast isn't AMAZING, but everyone else at least acts better than Kristen. I hope everyone in hollywood remembers this and never gives her another role...ever...again. My strong opinion may or may not have to do with the fact that I LOVE ROB PATTINSON...but either way, I just hope he does not forgive her cheating ass and maybe Summit can change the ending of the final movie so that the Volturi decides to kill off Kristen.... i mean Bella. UGH. She disgusts me. THE. END.

P.S. Does she only own wife beaters? She looks so fucking dirty... i'm sure she barely showers. GROSS. Also...this director guy should join that fire that Kristen needs to die in. YOUR WIFE OF TWO CHILDREN IS A MODEL. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

PPS. #TEAMRPATTZFOREVER

Laters.

Jess

37. MEN WITH VAGINAS

If you are a man with a vagina please diaf. Grow a fucking pair and stop hiding behind your tiny ass ball-less-"dick" that "hangs" around your MANGINA. GO THE FUCK AWAY UNTIL YOU GROW UP AND CAN HANDLE ADULT SITUATIONS.

SO NOT EVEN WORTH THESE WORDS, BUT WHATEVER. DIAF.

36. C-notso-BREEEZY

I'm so sorry to all my dear fans for not updating this in a while. I really wanted to have a legit and very concrete diaf candidate and lo and behold, Chris Brown did it again. We all know you're a douche-gf-beater and the entire world has also seen your cock [http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/chris-browns-penis-nsfw] now you get angry and cause a scene at good morning america because you're asked about the shit YOU've caused. Oh, but wait, nice little eloquent speech you gave on 106&park:

 "First of all I want to apologize to anybody who was startled in the office, anybody who was offended or really looked disappointed at my actions because I was really disappointed in my actions. A lot of people don't know what went down...We was suppose to perform, the talking points were positivity, creative, and everything that was sent to me, everything was about the album. So as the interview proceeded it was thrown off, i was kind of thrown off by it. I felt like they told us this so that they can just get us on the show just to exploit me. That's what I thought. And so I took it very, very hard. I kind of kept my composure throughout the whole interview although you can see me upset. I kept my composure and did my performance and when I got back I let off steam in the back. I didn't physically hurt anyone I didn't try to hurt anyone. I just wanted to release the anger I had inside me cause I felt like I worked so hard for this music. And I love my fans and I love to be able to make positive music that I felt like people kept, just trying to take it away from me, take away from me. So yes, I got very emotional and I apologize for acting like that." [http://www.dlisted.com/node/41313]

WOOOOOPPPPPPPDiiiiiDOooooO. You're so lame. SO SO LAME. How about you admit you have some anger issues? " i got very emotional" ok. right. I'm going to rip my shirt off and show off my ugly asssss tattoos and get in ppls faces because i got "emotional". No one is trying to exploit you. Since you're in the public eye reporters are obviously going to ask about your past, because the repercussions are still being dealt with. Stop acting out in public like that. Go get some anger management... idk.. fucking talk to Dr. Drew or something...maybe he can enlighten you.

also i would sentence you to DIAF just based on your hideous hair. maybe your hair stylist should join u too.

kkkkkk.bai.

-Jes$

35. X-mas Special

I need these "celebrities"/artists and/or overall idiots to stop writing books or they need to DIAF. Who the fuck said it was ok to let everyone/anyone publish a book? No. Nein. FUCK YOU. And not to mention the fact that people actually buy these books... um. yeah. no. Is this a result of fanaticism? I mean, I love my trashy tv and well, I was Snooki for halloween, but will I go and buy "A shore Thing" or "Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore" or "A Beiber Story", ok maybe thats not the title of his book, but I don't really feel like googling it. Anyway, just do everyone a favor and not buy any of these books. [go to barnes and noble and read them, like I'm most likely going to do with the idiotic Danielle Staub's book. That stupid cunt does not need $ so she can go produce another single with her lesbian dj lover/friend.] If Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451's world ever does come true, it will be a result of these fuckers writing shit. IWOULDN'TMINDBURNINGTHESEBOOKS...and then their authors can DIAF along with their creations. KBYE. 

jp$ych0

34. Brian Cashman

Derek Sanderson Jeter's contract ended this season, as most of you are fully aware of. Talks have been circulating between the GM, Mr. Brian Cashman and Jeetsinmysheets. I know Jeter is not in his prime and he definitely just came off probably one of his worst seasons in a yankee uniform, but Jeter is the heart and soul of this ball club and has been for the past 15 yrs. Cashdouche, in an email said, " if Yankees' Captain Derek Jeter could find a better offer than 3 years $45 million, he should Fucking Take It Somewhere Else." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! Look the Yankees have pretty deep ass pockets and they are already paying a shit ton of money for stupid AJ burninafire and A-roidy[granted he did play well] BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT YOU CANNOT DISH OUT MORE MONEY THAN THAT? This is not just ANY yankee. THIS IS JETER.

CASHMAN YOU'RE A FUCKING SNAKE AND YOU DESERVE TO BE IN SLYTHERIN ALONG WITH MALFOY ... ACTUALLY YOU KINDA LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A RAT AND A SNAKE... CANT YOU GO GET A NOSE JOB WITH ALL THAT MONEY ANYWAY?

GO DIAF ASSSSHOLEEEEEE.

- Jpsycho

33. JIAM

In honor of everyone who dressed up as a chilean miner, here is Jpsycho's post Halloween special edition of: 
JIAM [jump in a mine]

A- @L33n@  [represents that idiot coworker who cries about her bf and tells the whole office at what age she lost her virginity. She's also that person who calls in sick to work but is dumb enough to write a status on FB that says she's on a beach, while she has coworkers on her FB...]
B- Bristol Palin, because bitch shouldve left DWTS before Audrina did.
C- Cliff Lee [how the fuck you get slammed with 6 runs in like 4 innings, by the stoner team giants while u were almost perfect during the ALCS. Smh]
D- dirty people [especially a few who think its cool to not cleanse themselves on certain days. Do you eat daily? Yes. Do you go outside everyday? Yes. So, lets be honest. EVERYONE SHOULD SHOWER DAILY TOO.]
E- Entitled bitches who can't wash their own hair.
F- Foolish girlfriends
G- Gucci Mane 
H- Hillbillies in middle America 
I- Incompetent customer service reps
J- too many winners start with the name J [jeter. jayz. me. bmomz]....hmm...so lets make this for Jason Bay.
K- kanye. lets toast to this douche bag by making him #jiam
L- Lazy boyfriends... because you sit on your asses and don't fucking take initiative. use ur head.. or #JIAM!
M- MC Hammer... because he thinks Jay-Z "stole" his swagger... fuck outta herreee <> HOVA<3 
N- NOLAN RYAN [because I love watching Texan's squirrrrm]
O- october [because of post-season... lets. not. talk. about. it.]
P- policemen [fuck the po-po]
Q- QueenZ.. but only sometimes, like when buses stop running at certain times...
R- The Rangers [because they're from Texas]
S- the South, especially after these elections.... JUST FUCKING SECEDE!!!!!
T- The Town [and by "the town" i mean Bawwwwston]
U- Ugly short Tapirs
V- Voldemort, because the antagonist/villain alwayZ dies.
W-weeping tapirs//wall st men
X- xtraterrestrials... get off ma planet.
Y- yellow jackets [fucking hate them with a passion]
Z- ZzZZzzZ [TSG]


this concludes the special JIAM entry. 


love. J

32. SPECIAL EDITION: GO FALL OFF A CLIFF!

Hey Guys... sorry I've been MIA... between post season, students, and birthday celebrations I've been having a ball and no one has rubbed me the wrong way...but I thought it was time for a special edition *YAY*

Cliff Lee  has a fucking 6-0 playoff record and lets not even mention his ERA of 1.44... basically if you divide AJ Burnett's ERA by like 4 you would get Lee's. UGH. LET ME NOT EVEN GET STARTED WITH THAT FUCKER. I MEAN CANT WE JUST MAKE A TRADE ... LIKE ... RIGHT.. NOW? One fucktard/hillbilly/white-trash-"pitcher"-wannabe-from-arkansas for an ACTUAL pitcher from that same fail state? yes. k. thnx.

i need this to happen...

hope you've enjoyed this equation. Also, I hope no one gets offended by the pieta...i'm kinda catholic... so i'm allowed right? whatever...

GO YANKEESS!!!!!!!!!

ps. look forward to the next special edition entry.... #JIAM... because JUMP IN A MINE has become the new DIAF.

much love to my bitches and hoes.

<3Jpsycho<3