35. X-mas Special

I need these "celebrities"/artists and/or overall idiots to stop writing books or they need to DIAF. Who the fuck said it was ok to let everyone/anyone publish a book? No. Nein. FUCK YOU. And not to mention the fact that people actually buy these books... um. yeah. no. Is this a result of fanaticism? I mean, I love my trashy tv and well, I was Snooki for halloween, but will I go and buy "A shore Thing" or "Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore" or "A Beiber Story", ok maybe thats not the title of his book, but I don't really feel like googling it. Anyway, just do everyone a favor and not buy any of these books. [go to barnes and noble and read them, like I'm most likely going to do with the idiotic Danielle Staub's book. That stupid cunt does not need $ so she can go produce another single with her lesbian dj lover/friend.] If Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451's world ever does come true, it will be a result of these fuckers writing shit. IWOULDN'TMINDBURNINGTHESEBOOKS...and then their authors can DIAF along with their creations. KBYE. 

jp$ych0

34. Brian Cashman

Derek Sanderson Jeter's contract ended this season, as most of you are fully aware of. Talks have been circulating between the GM, Mr. Brian Cashman and Jeetsinmysheets. I know Jeter is not in his prime and he definitely just came off probably one of his worst seasons in a yankee uniform, but Jeter is the heart and soul of this ball club and has been for the past 15 yrs. Cashdouche, in an email said, " if Yankees' Captain Derek Jeter could find a better offer than 3 years $45 million, he should Fucking Take It Somewhere Else." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?! Look the Yankees have pretty deep ass pockets and they are already paying a shit ton of money for stupid AJ burninafire and A-roidy[granted he did play well] BUT YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT YOU CANNOT DISH OUT MORE MONEY THAN THAT? This is not just ANY yankee. THIS IS JETER.

CASHMAN YOU'RE A FUCKING SNAKE AND YOU DESERVE TO BE IN SLYTHERIN ALONG WITH MALFOY ... ACTUALLY YOU KINDA LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A RAT AND A SNAKE... CANT YOU GO GET A NOSE JOB WITH ALL THAT MONEY ANYWAY?

GO DIAF ASSSSHOLEEEEEE.

- Jpsycho

33. JIAM

In honor of everyone who dressed up as a chilean miner, here is Jpsycho's post Halloween special edition of: 
JIAM [jump in a mine]

A- @L33n@  [represents that idiot coworker who cries about her bf and tells the whole office at what age she lost her virginity. She's also that person who calls in sick to work but is dumb enough to write a status on FB that says she's on a beach, while she has coworkers on her FB...]
B- Bristol Palin, because bitch shouldve left DWTS before Audrina did.
C- Cliff Lee [how the fuck you get slammed with 6 runs in like 4 innings, by the stoner team giants while u were almost perfect during the ALCS. Smh]
D- dirty people [especially a few who think its cool to not cleanse themselves on certain days. Do you eat daily? Yes. Do you go outside everyday? Yes. So, lets be honest. EVERYONE SHOULD SHOWER DAILY TOO.]
E- Entitled bitches who can't wash their own hair.
F- Foolish girlfriends
G- Gucci Mane 
H- Hillbillies in middle America 
I- Incompetent customer service reps
J- too many winners start with the name J [jeter. jayz. me. bmomz]....hmm...so lets make this for Jason Bay.
K- kanye. lets toast to this douche bag by making him #jiam
L- Lazy boyfriends... because you sit on your asses and don't fucking take initiative. use ur head.. or #JIAM!
M- MC Hammer... because he thinks Jay-Z "stole" his swagger... fuck outta herreee <> HOVA<3 
N- NOLAN RYAN [because I love watching Texan's squirrrrm]
O- october [because of post-season... lets. not. talk. about. it.]
P- policemen [fuck the po-po]
Q- QueenZ.. but only sometimes, like when buses stop running at certain times...
R- The Rangers [because they're from Texas]
S- the South, especially after these elections.... JUST FUCKING SECEDE!!!!!
T- The Town [and by "the town" i mean Bawwwwston]
U- Ugly short Tapirs
V- Voldemort, because the antagonist/villain alwayZ dies.
W-weeping tapirs//wall st men
X- xtraterrestrials... get off ma planet.
Y- yellow jackets [fucking hate them with a passion]
Z- ZzZZzzZ [TSG]


this concludes the special JIAM entry. 


love. J

32. SPECIAL EDITION: GO FALL OFF A CLIFF!

Hey Guys... sorry I've been MIA... between post season, students, and birthday celebrations I've been having a ball and no one has rubbed me the wrong way...but I thought it was time for a special edition *YAY*

Cliff Lee  has a fucking 6-0 playoff record and lets not even mention his ERA of 1.44... basically if you divide AJ Burnett's ERA by like 4 you would get Lee's. UGH. LET ME NOT EVEN GET STARTED WITH THAT FUCKER. I MEAN CANT WE JUST MAKE A TRADE ... LIKE ... RIGHT.. NOW? One fucktard/hillbilly/white-trash-"pitcher"-wannabe-from-arkansas for an ACTUAL pitcher from that same fail state? yes. k. thnx.

i need this to happen...

hope you've enjoyed this equation. Also, I hope no one gets offended by the pieta...i'm kinda catholic... so i'm allowed right? whatever...

GO YANKEESS!!!!!!!!!

ps. look forward to the next special edition entry.... #JIAM... because JUMP IN A MINE has become the new DIAF.

much love to my bitches and hoes.

<3Jpsycho<3

31. SARAH fucking PALIN

The Yankees have clinched, so let me start with congratulating my lovely team, because I legit bleed navy and white pin stripes. <3 

Here is a lovely ghost-post:

I am going to preface this by saying that by nature, I am an angry person. I am especially angry when I have to a) wait for more than 15 minutes for a train, b) around idiots, and c) watch the Yankees lose. I guess God finally decided to spite me this weekend, because all three of these things transpired. Despite this, I decided that the week had to get better, so I didn’t tell anyone (or anything) to die in a fire. Until now.

There are few people who make me as angry as Sarah FUCKING Palin. First of all, the woman was grossly unqualified to run for Vice President (20 bucks says she did a strip show for McCain’s senile ass and that convinced him to put her on his ticket), she has an accent that sounds like a Canadian getting raped up the ass by a moose, and she gives Rahm Emanuel, one of the loves of my life, shit for using the word retard. Well I have news for you Sarah FUCKING Palin—you are as retarded as your dumbass kid Trig. What kind of name is that anyway? TRIG? OH WAIT YOU HAVE ANOTHER KID NAMED TRACK? THAT IS EVEN STUPIDER THAN JOBA WHICH I THOUGHT WAS THE DUMBEST FUCKING NAME OF ALL TIME. Anyway, I wish the only reason I wanted this dumb bitch to DIAF was because of her nomenclature system for her little Alaskan spawn. Or because of her idiotic Tea Party (You know what happened in the Boston Tea Party, assholes? SHIT FELL IN THE RIVER. I WANT TO PUSH ALL TEA PARTIERS INTO THE HUDSON RIVER SO THEY GET AIDS AND DIE). No, this was prompted by seeing her dumb ass cheering on “Bristol the Pistol” on DWTS.

Bristol Palin is a grade A retard (whoops, sorry Sarah, didn’t mean to insult you again…oh wait I did). First of all, she let herself get knocked up by Levi Johnston. A joke of a man—he didn’t even show peen in Playgirl. But anyways, bitch wants to do anything for her 15 minutes of fame, so she goes on DWTS. Fine. BUT DON’T THINK THAT YOUR DUMBASS NO-BRAINED MOTHER CAN APPEAR ON MY TV WITHOUT INCURRING MY WRATH. Sarah Palin, what do I really have to say? Of course people boo-ed you. Because you are a dumbass cunt with shit for brains. You are basically a Tea Party prostitute. Why don’t you go fuck Scott Brown somewhere in his home state of Massachusetts and let a fire consume the entire state? That way, we would have two idiots DIAF at the same time, we would get rid of Papelcunt, and we would get rid of the bank robbery capital of the world. In the words of Danielle Staub, BYE.

- DR. B. WALDORF

I mean seriously... someone please teabag that whore and make her DIE IN A FIRE...                   SARAH'mytitsaretoolargetofunction'PALIN

25 -30 Yankee Pitchers/sux-ers/Naggers/MfuckingTA

25. So, apparently I need to make another entry about the MTA. NYMag had this article a couple of days ago [http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2010/09/mta_introduces_video_screens_t.html] called "MTA Introduces Video Screens to Subway". I don't really understand why, "'Customers in a transit environment can expect increasing levels of sophistication in advertising,' a spokesman said. At least this gives people somewhere to fix their gaze when trying to avoid making eye contact with creepy fellow commuters." IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY? Why does the MTA think that putting video screens in stations is a good idea? First of all, there's all this buzz about wanting to increase the price for an unlimited and even restricting the number of rides one can take using an unlimited. Why the fuck is the MTA using our fucking money to make make video screens? Shouldn't they fucking add more trains to increase it's efficiency? We are in an age where most of the population has an ipod, a smart phone, or even an ipad. WHY WOULD ANY COMMUTER WANT TO LOOK AT A FUCKING VIDEO INSTEAD OF GETTING ON A TRAIN QUICKLY AND REACHING THEIR DESTINATION IN A TIMELY FASHION? GOD WHY IS THE MTA SO FUCKING DUMB??!?!?!?!! HALF OF THE PEOPLE COMMUTING IN THE CITY DON'T EVEN SPEAK/READ ENGLISH, SINCE SO MANY FOREIGNERS COME TO VISIT... ARE THEY FUCKING RETARDED? UGH. MTA DIAF. 


26. In my last entry I wrote about people who create fires in their kitchens, by setting pasta on fire and that stupidity astounded me. If that wasn't already bad enough, I was informed that some people don't know how to use microwaves... WHO THE FUCK BURNS MAC AND CHEESE IN A MICROWAVE? there are absolutely no excuses for this. common sense guys. common sense. plate w/metal +mac and cheese + microwave = DIAF!


27.  The redsux deserve to be in this entry because they are the bane of my existence. Am i bitter because the yankees lost to them tonight... absolutely... but do they need to DIAF... YES. papeldouche + big Retardi + Beckett... like... EVERYONE. 


28. JAVIER FUCKING VAZQUEZ! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET TO THE MAJOR LEAGUES? ANYONE WHO HITS THREE CONSECUTIVE BATTERS NEEDS TO 1) NOT BE A YANKEE 2) DIAF!


29. Unfortunately Joba's 25th birthday was yesterday, and after finding out he had a troubled life growing up, since his mom was a drunk and his father was handicapped...I wanted to give him a break... but to be honest... NO WONDER HE FUCKING SUCKS AND GIVES UP HOMERUNS IN RELIEF. GOD! Like i'm sorry, I'm glad you were able to come this far in your career, given where you're from... BUT PLEASE... DIAF!!!!


30. LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST: Dear nagging parents... IF I DONT DO SOMETHING ITS BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO.  THE AMOUNT OF NAGGING IS DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL TO THE AMOUNT OF RAGE AND THOUGHTS OF STABBING YOU IN THE EYE. I GUARANTEE IF YOU STOP NAGGING... I WILL GET AROUND TO DOING THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DONE. very. fucking. simple. STOP NAGGING... or... DIAF. 

24. PEOPLE/THINGS THAT START FIRES

a) TORNADOES --> WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT TORNADO ON FRIDAY? LIKE REALLY? I don't need Twister coming to reality... it definitely needs to stay in the movie world... DIAF.

b) TERRORISTS [self explanatory]

c) PEOPLE WHO BURN BOOKS--> http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/1962324423.html
I don't know why i even clicked the "rants/raves" on craigslist, oh right... because I was bored and had applied to all the jobs available, pertaining to what i want to do. Who are you? Like burning a Koran is going to solve anything? NO. DIAF.

d) PEOPLE WHO START FIRES BECAUSE THEY LEAVE THINGS UNATTENDED IN THEIR KITCHEN -->
I know not everyone is a gifted cook, like myself [insert cocky laugh] but shouldn't everyone know how to boil simple foods without having the food actually burn up in flames? I believe so. Google exists for many reasons, so please use it or go buy Cooking For Dummies, or just put that pasta in the pot, and leave it unattended, but this time wait until you're alone and DIAF.

e) dear baltimore orioles... DIAF. you have a reliever named UEHARA.... like UE-HAR-A-LOSER.  dearest criminals [who don't wear yankee fitteds] in baltimore... please find your orioles who have a 59-90 record and are in last place in the Eastern Division... AND BURN THEM IN A FIRE.

- JPSYCHO.