When I woke up, the Yankees, also known as the bronx bombers, the most epic baseball team out there, were still in first place, even though they lost 2 out of 3 games to the stupid devil rays [don't even get me started on those fuckers who are named after creatures who are as flat as pancakes and don't serve any purpose at all whatsoever] ... now, due to the undeniable fact that my least favorite Yankee starter pitched today, MY YANKEES ARE NOW TIED FOR FIRST PLACE TO THE DEVIL *AYS. Therefore:
DEAR AJ BURNETT,
go back to Arkansas and first BURN off all your nasty-ass, white-hick tattoos, then maybe you should sit in lighter fluid and contemplate why your last name includes the word burn in it. Is it an allusion to your death? yes, I believe so. GO DIAF.
Speaking of failure in baseball, let me address the Boston Redsux and their 6-5 loss to the Cleveland Indians, who mind you, are last in the central division. I will refrain from going too in depth about the amount of hatred I have for the Redsux, let me just state that every single one of them should DIAF. Not tomorrow, or next week, but RIGHT NOW.
Ah, speaking of [w]right...the failMets also lost today, no not at shittyfield, but at turnerfield. GO BRAVES! haha. I really don't ACTUALLY care about the mets... except I think Reyes should semi-diaf just to alleviate the pain my eyes feel whenever I have to see that Hispanic rat with braids if I accidentally flip the channel, or whenever the Mets play the Yankees.
Ok, I must digress, since my whole existence does not revolve around baseball [ok it may revolve around the Yankees and sparkly Vampires]... CAN I PLEASE JUST STATE THAT STUPID PARENTALS SHOULD ALSO DIAF. No, i do not wish to elaborate on the previous statement, but I'm sure that will happen soon enough, and I'm also fairly certain I am NOT the only person who feels this way. Sure its a constant struggle, but LEAVE ME ALONE OR DIAF. kthanks.
-J.PSYCHO
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